


Beginnings

by ravenbringslight



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, First Kiss, M/M, Sibling Incest, Valentine's Day Fluff, Перевод на русский | Translation in Russian
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-15
Updated: 2020-02-15
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:21:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22726798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ravenbringslight/pseuds/ravenbringslight
Summary: The day that Thor realized his brother was in love with him was an otherwise unremarkable Tuesday. He was chopping onions in his kitchen, his mind wandering, and suddenly he just knew—like spidersilk, invisible until it was viewed from just the right angle, and with just the same impossible combination of strength and fragility.I have to be careful, Thor thought. One wrong breath might destroy it.
Relationships: Loki/Thor, Loki/Thor (Marvel)
Comments: 37
Kudos: 569





	Beginnings

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Начать сначала](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23444164) by [Cinnamonius](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cinnamonius/pseuds/Cinnamonius)



The day that Thor realized his brother was in love with him was an otherwise unremarkable Tuesday. He was chopping onions in his kitchen, his mind wandering, and suddenly he just knew—like spidersilk, invisible until it was viewed from just the right angle, and with just the same impossible combination of strength and fragility.

I have to be careful, Thor thought. One wrong breath might destroy it.

He talked with Loki on the phone that evening. Loki’s voice sounded different, now that Thor knew the secret underneath giving shape to his words. They complained good naturedly about their days at work, and Thor told Loki about the recipe he was trying for dinner (currently sizzling in the oven), and Loki asked Thor what to do about one of the houseplants Thor had given him whose leaves had gone brown at the edges.

“Have you been over fertilizing it?” Thor asked.

Loki cursed. “Probably.”

“Transfer it to a pot with drainage at the bottom, put it in your bathtub, and flush it with water.”

“I swear it’s like plants talk to you,” Loki said. A pause over the line, then, “What are you doing on Friday?”

Thor smiled. Spidersilk. He was looking for it now.

“Nothing. What about you?”

“Also nothing.” Tone relieved, wistful, bitter, and hopeful all at once.

“Want to make an evening of it?”

“God, yes.”

After they hung up, Thor took the food out of the oven, divided it into three portions, and ate one. Wrapped up the other two and hoped he might be able to share it with a man with sad green eyes.

Thor lay in bed that night and spread his arms out wide, testing the width of the mattress. He only had a double, and his hands hung over the ends—it wasn’t nearly big enough for another person to sleep there. He frowned. He didn’t think he’d be able to get a new mattress by Friday. The couch wasn’t big enough for both of them, either. 

He thought about Loki hanging up the phone in his own apartment, repotting his plant, thinking of his Valentine’s Day plans with his brother who he thought had no idea about why Loki really wanted to spend it with him. He thought about all the years between them, all the laughter, the old hurts, the new beginnings. About how Loki had kept his love to himself the entire time. How maybe that had led to some of the hurt to begin with. Thought that his brother was the brave one. Wanted to soothe away every hurtful thing they’d ever said to each other. Knew that he would need to be careful, so careful.

Loki showed up in his apartment lobby on Friday, his voice crackling through the intercom, “It’s me.” Thor buzzed him up.

When Thor opened his door, he couldn’t help but break into a smile. He could tell that Loki had tried to go for “effortlessly sexy” but all he could see was the hours of effort he must have put in on his hair and eyebrows and the fit of his clothes; his beautiful foolish brother didn’t realize that Thor didn’t care about any of that, would have found Loki just as enticing with a bird’s nest of curls and a burlap sack.

“Here,” Loki said. He thrust a heart-shaped box of chocolates and a rose at Thor. “Why should only couples get to eat chocolate and enjoy flowers today?”

Thor took them, and then pulled Loki close to give him a brotherly peck on the cheek, and saw his spidersilk blush.

“Thank you,” Thor said. “We can eat them after dinner.”

Thor bustled around the kitchen while Loki ensconced himself on the couch with a bottle of wine. Thor filled a glass with water and put the rose in it, gave the risotto a stir, starting chopping the parsley to sprinkle on at the end. Watched Loki watching him and tried not to let on. Felt a flutter deep in his chest, and a surge of affection so warm that it was hard not to just sweep around the kitchen island and start peppering Loki with kisses right then and there.

They ate and drank and smiled. Thor had always known his brother was lonely, even when they were together, but now he knew why, and it made him ache. He hoped he didn’t mess everything up tonight and make him even lonelier. How cruel that would be.

The dishes were in the sink and they were on the couch on their second bottle of wine, and Loki was on a tear about the commercialism of Valentine’s Day.

“It’s all just _manufactured_ anyway,” Loki was saying, gesturing with his glass. “It’s specifically designed to make people as miserable as possible and then profit off of their attempts to stave off the misery. I’m upset I bought those chocolates, actually. We just should boycott the damn thing entirely.”

“I’m not upset you bought them,” Thor said. He picked one up out of the open box on the coffee table and popped it into his mouth, and then made a face. “Ok, maybe I am upset. Why the hell do they even make coconut ones?”

“Those are the ones they make for people with _taste_ , Thor.”

“Disgusting. I need more wine.”

Loki laughed and topped Thor’s glass off and Thor thought about the gift he hadn’t given Loki yet. He slipped his hand in his pocket to make sure it was still there.

“Well, I may have fed the soulless corporate Valentine’s machine a few dollars,” Loki said, “but I also have something that I, ah. Made you.” He was suddenly fidgety, and smoothed his hair back from his face, and turned away for a moment to rummage through his bag.

“Here,” Loki said. He handed Thor an unmarked book, something that looked like some kind of album.

Thor set his wine down so that he could lay the album flat on the table and open it.

He paged through it, his eyes growing misty. Each page held a beautifully arranged, perfectly pressed flower or spray of leaves, labeled with Loki’s flowing script, and opposite the flower a handwritten poem, some about the flower itself, some about what it represented.

“It’s, um,” Loki said. He was fidgeting badly now, twisting his hands together between his knees. “You’ve been giving me all these plants? My house is full of them, inside and outside, and I realized a little bit ago that you had chosen every single one of them and told me how to care for them and I… Thought that if you’d chosen them, it must be because you liked them… And so I’ve been collecting cuttings from them, and…”

Thor rubbed at his eyes, a little choked up. “Did you write the poems too?”

“Some of them,” Loki said. He was still twisting his hands together, and his voice sounded so anxious. “Do you like it?”

Thor closed the book gently and turned to face his brother.

“This is the most thoughtful gift that anyone’s ever given me,” Thor said truthfully. Loki’s cheeks colored. “I mean it. Lo, this is… It’s stunning. I love it.” He caught Loki’s hands in his and squeezed. Loki squeezed him back and smiled tightly, his eyes bright.

“I’m glad you like it,” Loki said, and then pulled away.

He thinks his affection isn’t wanted, Thor thought. He slipped his hand into his pocket again and took his gift out, held hidden in his fist. Told his pulse to calm down. Thought about Loki making this gift for him, painstakingly snipping each flower and leaf at the height of its beauty, arranging it just so, matching it with words from his own heart—and all of it just because he loved Thor, and with no expectation that Thor reciprocated anything other than purely fraternal feelings. How alone he must have felt. How easy it would have been for him to distance himself, to take his heart away and keep it safe, rather than constantly dangle it, open and bleeding, in front of the one person he thought he could never have.

He puts me to shame, Thor thought.

“I have something for you,” Thor said.

He opened his hand. Nestled in his palm was a ring, a slim gold band with a small emerald solitaire.

Loki blinked, his face falling into a carefully neutral mask.

“Why are you giving me this?” Loki said. His voice sounded blank.

Thor plucked the ring out of his palm with his other hand, held it up.

“I want you to have it.”

“Mother gave that to _you_ ,” Loki said. “For the person you marry. Why are you giving it to me? You know very well that I have no one, that I’ve never had anyone—this is cruel, even for you—” His voice was rough by the end, and he rubbed at his eyes furiously.

Thor took Loki’s hand and put the ring in it, closed Loki’s fingers around it and held them tight in his own.

“I’m not giving this to you to give to someone else,” Thor said. His own voice was rough as well. “I’m giving it to _you_.”

Loki fell over his own lap, hiding his face, his shoulders rounded and shaking. Thor didn’t know what to do. He’d spent days deciding how to tell Loki he knew, how to convince him that Thor loved him too, wanted him too, that he was serious, that it wasn’t a joke or a whim. The ring had seemed perfect. Loki knew Thor would never give Frigga’s ring away lightly, knew exactly what that ring meant, to both of them. Thor couldn’t think of a better way to tell Loki and reassure him all at once.

Thor’s hand hovered uselessly over Loki’s back, wondering if he should touch him, if touching him would make it worse. He wondered if he’d fundamentally misread everything. His throat was thick with unshed tears.

“Talk to me, Lo,” Thor said. “Please.”

Loki looked up at him. The corners of his mouth were trembling. He held the ring up, tried to talk and half sobbed instead and put his hand over his face. Thor pulled the hand gently away, squeezed it. Loki wasn’t running, or hitting him, or screaming, and Thor’s breathing eased, enough that he dared to bring Loki’s knuckles to his mouth and kiss them.

“Lo,” Thor said again. “Did I do a bad thing? I’m sorry, I know it was a lot all at once—”

“I can’t marry you,” Loki choked out.

“I know. But you could—we could be together—if...you want that…”

Loki was smiling and trying not to cry at the same time, the corners of his mouth tight. He nodded. “I do,” he said, his voice breaking again, “I do, I do—”

And then his fingers were twisted tight in the front of Thor’s shirt, and Thor cupped his neck, and found out that his brother’s lips were soft and chocolate-sweet and fit more perfectly against his own than he ever could have imagined. Something warm and satisfied settled deep in his chest and put down roots.

By the time their mouths were done getting acquainted, Loki’s tears had dried, and he had a bit of himself back. He tucked himself tightly against Thor’s side, holding up his hand to admire the ring sparkling on his finger. “I can’t believe you proposed on _Valentine’s Day_ ,” Loki said. “How cliche.”

“I can take it back if you want,” Thor said, his fingers finding Loki’s ribs and making him kick and laugh.

“Don’t you dare,” Loki said. “I’ve got the rock, it’s mine now.”

Thor lay his cheek against Loki’s temple and smiled.

“Stay the night?” Thor said. He was already envisioning how they’d have to curl around each other in his tiny bed, like wiggly puzzle pieces. How they could wake up in each other’s arms later, after… After whatever they did. Even if they did nothing. That would be fine too. 

Loki was quiet for a moment. “I can stay longer than that,” he said softly. A question in his voice. Spidersilk glinting. Thor’s decision to go all in or not. To break the web or leave it, whole and beautiful and shivering.

“Stay forever,” Thor said.

**Author's Note:**

> have you ever seen such tooth-rotting fluff? I feel like I need to apologize or something
> 
> twitter.com/thunderingraven


End file.
